First Month, First Lines… (Big Dreams Blog Update #16)

Okay!
First Update Day post of 2015: for those of you who are out-of-the-know, every month for the past year and few months I’ve been diligently (this is a shock for me!) participating in the Big Dreams/Do You Have a Goal? blog hop hosted by authors MishaGericke and Beth Fred.
What do the 17 bloggers share in common? We all have big, crazy dreams we’re sharing with the world (at least) one blog update a month.
My crazy goal—which isn’t too crazy unless you know me and my super not-awesome-at-all procrastination—is to write one million words-worth of completed stories. Because, like I said, huge procrastinator here and I have trouble seeing promises through to the end…
You can join us and/or cheer us on here!
My big goal hasn’t changed, but I haven’t really started this year off on the note I was hoping.
January was a hard and sad month for me and it had nothing to do with recovering from a wisdom tooth extraction. That, thankfully, went really smooth!
Look at the size of that cheek! Also fat lips. Hehe. But I got no excuse for that hair!
No. This month was filled with reflection. And a lot of tears pre- and post-Blue Monday.
 
You see I’m at a place in my life where I have to face one big fact that I’ve been pushing back to the furthest recesses of my mind up until now: I don’t know who I want to be.
It only became glaringly obvious because I completed uni and my CV is abysmal, and I don’t have any clue what to do next… Well at least solidly. I have no contingent plans…well, not really strong contingent plans because Plan A is all over the place.
All I know and can be sure of is what I like right now, but I don’t have any immediate career goals. Even with my writing: sure I fantasize about being a full-time author, but there’s so much (and oddly enough so little) I have control of.
For instance I can’t control whether an agent offers me representation or how/when my stories will be published (in the traditional sense). But I can control my writing, starting projects and committing to “The End”.
Which is why I REALLY need to get back on track. A.S.A.P.
Unfortunately stories are completed by themselves.
 
And short of drugging myself through the whole process (I do have tons of codeine left from molar extraction), I’m just going to have to suck it up and ride out every down and up, up and down. Still though I get that, it doesn’t make it any easier to actually sit down and face the blank screen of the word processor and that first line…
 
Did I mention I hate writing first lines?
Anyways after doing a lot of thinking I decided to tackle my writing fear by first sticking to a project. Choosing my WIP and riding out that dreaded first line…ugh, and then hopefully falling into the happy place after the middle half of the book onward.
On the reading front that’s going much better than writing. So far I’ve been reading more than the one book/week schedule. That’s great. Now hopefully February’s Update Day will be more fruitful in the writing sphere of my life.

 

How has your January been?
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3 thoughts on “First Month, First Lines… (Big Dreams Blog Update #16)

  1. First lines are hard, but it's really important that you remember one thing: Your first line doesn't have to be perfect when you're writing a rough draft. In fact, I've found that my first lines are never the first lines by the time edits are done. 😉

    As for not knowing who you are: I've been there, and the best advice I can give is that you write about it. Just for yourself. No one else ever needs to see. But you'll be surprised at how illuminating it is.

    Best of luck!

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  2. Knowing that you don't know what to do is half the battle. I didn't figure out what I wanted to do (or even that I didn't know what I wanted to do) until after I was married, and then I had less options, because there was someone else to consider.–I wish I had taken the time to do what you're doing now while I was on my own.

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  3. January is a month of reflection for most of us. Who do you want to be? You, I assume. But what do you want to do with your life? That's a tricky one.

    Good luck on the writing front. Like you I hate finishing things, but it is the one good piece of advice all good professional writers seem to give: just put your bum on the seat and keep going until you finish the story!

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