A-to-Z Challenge (2016 edition): Z is for Zoolander

It’s April A-to-Z month! Interested in signing up? Unfortunately it’s too late. I know! But even if it it, check out the 1400+ bloggers signed up and striving to complete this month-long challenge. They need YOU to cheer them on!

NOTE: Changes are happening! I’m no longer filtering these movies through the W-story structure, because it’s too rigid. Instead I’ll be using Jami Gold’s Basic Beat Sheet. BUT if you liked Mary Carroll Moore’s W-story structuring method, you can find info all about it here.

Disclaimer: This is MY version of a plot break down. You might decide I’m entirely wrong and spewing nonsense, and that’s cool. It’s all relative.

Also SPOILER WARNING.

I was going to watch Zipper for my ‘Z’ movie, but I didn’t want anything serious. I wanted funny, and I definitely got a lot of giggles from Zoolander.

So the final break down! Let’s make it count shall we?

Inciting incident: Mugatu, a leading designer in the NYC fashion scene, has been dispatched by an evil HQ of fashion designers to kill the Malaysian prime minister who has abolished child workers and is working on eradicating sweat shops. Derek Zoolander, 3 time-winner of the best straight male model award has finally lost to a younger contemporary, Hansel. It doesn’t help that the Times journalist, Matilda who interviewed him published a rag of an article dubbing him an idiot. Derek is super depressed, even his friends/fellow agency models can only temporary cheer him up.

End of the beginning: After his friends die (really stupidly), Derek decides he’s going to announce his retirement from the model industry and packing up he heads home to the mining town in NJ.

Pinch point #1: But Derek’s father and his brothers (gosh, Vince Vaughn looks young!) are embarrassed by him and he eventually returns to NYC when his agency CEO/head agent guy, Maury, calls him back. Maury is secretly working behind the scenes for Mugatu who in turn is working as the fall guy for all the other evil fashion designers. Maury convinces Derek to return to the fashion biz long enough to work with Mugatu, the only fashion designer who hasn’t hired Derek to be a face (and body) of his (freakish) designs. Mugatu wants Derek to be the head/lead model of his new fashion show, “Derelicte” (it’s inspired off the poverty on the city streets). Derek agrees only because Mugatu promises to fund the model’s new dream to open up a center for children to learn to model and do ‘other things good…ly’ (ha!). The show is only 8 days away and the Malaysian prime minister is going to be a guest. Derek is taken to a day spa by Katinka, but he ends up brainwashed for almost a week. Matilda tries to sneak in but she’s kicked out and threatened by Katinka and some scary-looking henchmen. Meanwhile Derek is at the pre-party of the launch of Derelicte after he gets mind-probed and then Hansel appears and they decide to have a ‘walk off’. Matilda’s trying to get to Derek to tell him about Katinka, Mugatu and their brainwashing to turn him into an assassin/hit man.

Midpoint: So the walk off happens and Derek loses. He doesn’t have much time to be depressed because Katinka shows up with muscle. Derek and Matilda are running away from the evil Katinka, and they meet up with some hand model who knows all about Mugatu and the fashion designers’ evil minds. Derek and Matilda decide to hide out in the one place no one will suspect Derek is staying…Hansel’s studio.

Pinch point #2: Hansel lets them in and admits he’s actually a huge fan of Derek and that he was just nervous and all that. Whatever, they hug and become fast friends. After smoking some peyote or some other trippin herb, Matilda confesses she hasn’t had sex in 2 years and Hansel and Derek start an orgy which includes some of Hansel’s friends (it’s way funnier than I make it sound…little nudity). The next morning (it’s D-day, or “Derelicte” day or Derek-goes-assassin-if-they-don’t-stop-him day) Team Matilda, Hansel and Derek plan a way to keep Derek from assassinating the Malaysian prime minister. First they realize Maury is working with Mugatu and he must have all the info and evidence of Mugatu’s evil ways in his computer. Breaking into Maury’s office at the model agency, Derek and Hansel (in cognito as an African American man and a Mexican man) encounter their first…Mac. They have no clue how to open it and Matilda is doing research at her office; she plans to meet the guys at the show to shut it down.

Crisis: Running out of time, Derek is leaving to do the show has this moment where he gives Hansel his favorite cellphone as he’s unsure whether he’s going to kill the Malaysian prime minister and either be killed by Katinka afterwards or be jailed for life.

Climax: Hansel informs Matilda Derek has left for the show and she’s panicking and she leaves to head him off. Hansel, without much options, takes the whole computer with him to the fashion show. The show starts and Derek is ready to walk the runway…and hope he doesn’t kill the Malaysian prime minister. When the trigger for the brainwashing is played (it’s that “Relax” song) and then Hansel and the evil DJ henchman start a break dance off and switch tracks from “Relax” to some other song. Anyways! Just when it looks like Hansel fails, he rips out the track and Derek is accused of almost ripping the Malaysian prime minister’s head off. And Hansel being an idiot breaks Maury’s computer with all the evidence in it. Thankfully Maury himself comes up and drops the bombshell that he has copies of those incriminating files and that he’s going to have Mugatu arrested.

Resolution: Derek gets his center to help children learn to do other things good…or whatever. Hansel teaches extreme sports at the school, and Derek’s with Matilda and they have an infant son. THE blessed END.

Have you seen Zoolander? Zoolander 2? I know I’ll be checking out the sequel. This one was everything I wanted in a comedy – fun nonsense. ^-^

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One thought on “A-to-Z Challenge (2016 edition): Z is for Zoolander

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