RSS Winter Writing Fest 2017 Update #5: It’s (Kinda) Not Me!

RSS Winter Writing Festival 2017

UPDATE #5

hello

It’s post-Valentine’s, and I spent yesterday trying to woo my latest WIPs – yeah, I’m a player, courting 2 stories at once – I realized sometimes it’s really not you causing all the relationship problems.

Sometimes I catch myself blaming my outlining skill, or my writing ability, or my propensity to procrastinate…let those eyes wander to Slutty New Idea(s)* BUT I’m not always at fault!

Yeppers, I’m looking at you manuscript(s). Both of you. I’m not the bad guy here. You should be burden with some of the blame. So I got some questions…probably stuff I should have asked before, but *cracks knuckles (but ew! not really)*

Image result for it's you gif

1. Why Can’t You Be Easy?

Why is it you start off all nice and sweet, and you’re busting out the flowers, and champagne, and heart-shaped chocolates, and BAM! All of a sudden we’re past the outline stage, and getting into the real serious first drafting and it’s like “what the heck have I been doing with you”? Maybe we moved too quick…

2. Why Are You Making Me Think Such Awful Things About Myself?

That doesn’t explain why you’re making me hate myself. Suddenly it’s like I can’t even look in the mirror without confronting a stranger.

Image result for patrick punching mirror gif

Like who is that girl and why is she letting this puny story beat her ass?

3. Do we need a break? Or should we call it quits?

Break, quits. Break, quits.

Which is it going to be?

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I could start dating again, shopping around, see what manuscript fits me, but I also kinda like how we started before everything went to heck and all. So I guess it depends on what I want to do, and doing what feels right, not necessarily what makes me happy right now.

Which brings me to my final point…

4. Let’s move on.

Whether we go our separate ways or not, I’m wishing you the best.

No, I won’t promise whipping out dolls to prick and stick some voodun magic your way, but I will stop opening your file and delete you from my life. Cool? Cool.

And okay, fine, let’s agree to definitely agree that the Internal Editor hates us both and should be bitten, mercilessly.

Image result for wizard of oz gif

*courtesy of NYT bestselling author Rachel Hawkins. She’s mad funny, guys, and great books–>go read them.

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